Mar. 20, 2003 - 22:09:01
Dear Vincent,
Tomorrow is the big day in Annapolis. I am passing rapidly between two extremes, being extremely calm and being panicked.
God forbid there be real writers in a "Writer's World" chat room. Actually I had a great discussion in there once with someone who was very knowledgeable on the Arthurian legend. Sadly, there exist writers who put together a bunch of nebulous nonsense and, equally as sadly there are people who read very deeply into it. This kindles memories of the high school literary publication. One year I decided we should make the last page of the publication a list of truly horrendous and wonderful lines from poems we rejected. I called the page, "Lines we loved! (From poems we hated.)" Alas, the page had to be just simply titled, "Lines we loved!" as the administration suggested my caustic comments may not have been well received. That was fine with me, they'd only suggested the (From poems we hated.) wouldn't work. And again, alas, they realized the erroneous nature of their word choice just before publication and thus, they told me that the page would only be titled, "Lines we loved!" Here are some of the ones that still tickle me:
(And can you guess- most of them are from attempts at love poetry...)
1) "I don't want to kindle your burning flame any longer."
I distinctly remember bursting into unrestrained laughter when the editor read that one aloud. She managed to shoot me a disapproving look before she joined me.
I have to set you up for the next one. I can't remember the exact lines proceeding the line- but it was something typical like this:
2) You are as beautiful as the sky.
When I'm with you I can fly.
I love you.
I know you'll always be true.
I like you 'cause you're nice not mean
-----> "Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily your eyes are but a dream."<-----
It came out of no where. It was all, bad love verse, bad love verse, row, row, row your boat. Can you imagine the thought process behind that poem? The lovelorn poet sits at his desk penning lines reeking of infatuation and suddenly he is stuck. So he thinks, and this is what he thinks, "Okay tell her she's beautiful, she makes me happy, she has good skin, she likes me back...MERRILY MERRILY MERRILY! Perfect." I distinctly remember this one because it was called, "Megan's Song." I can still remember the other staff member's swerving in their chairs to grin broadly at me. "That is not how you spell my name!" I offered in a whiney plea. This phrase also spurned a contest within the staff- write the dirtiest love poem you can using old nursery rhymes as a prompt. This contest within itself spawned some pretty funny stuff.
For instance "Hey diddle, diddle, you really play my fiddle." (On a side note 'hey diddle diddle' was a popular one to fool around with just because it already sounds dirty to a certain mind set...)
3) "Oh devious am I."
It was the title and reoccurring line throughout the poem. Needless to say the person who wrote the poem was not devious, or clever for the matter, or a poet by any stretch of the imagination. Markedly, when someone accuses me of deceit it is all too entertaining to smile and offer, "Oh devious am I."
4) "Sometimes I say to myself, "Self, am I alive?" Other times I say to myself, "Self, what's new?""
If this one had been titled, "Self Help Secession" I would have battled for it, but as it was meant to be taken seriously it couldn't be taken.
That's all I can remember off the top of my head but I think I'll dig through my old copies to find some more.
Another snag in the space/ time continuum. I love "The Great Race." It's been a while since I've seen it but it holds a place with me as one of the most entertaining movies I've ever seen. I'm a big fan of the idiot prince, the food fight scene as well as the scene in the snow with the polar bear. Oh yes, and the part where they won't give Professor Fate the gasoline until he comes to their welcome celebration. I do feel badly for Professor Fate- let's face it he doesn't get the girl, backward feminist though she may be.
I am an old movie fan. Anything with Gene Kelly, Donald O'Conner, Fred Astaire, Bob Hope, Judy Garland, Doris Day, Grace Kelly, Audrey Hepburn... chances are I like it.
And I find people I know in books I read all the time. Sometimes it take a while but inevitably it happens. This summer I found Arthur in Pat Conroy's "The Prince of Tides." I haven't found me yet though.
And now I must cut this short because I must be comprehensive tomorrow. I will be slated to speak round 10:10 a.m. so send luck my way then Vincent.
Going once, going twice, sold.
Meghan
what they said - what they will say
